Commenters were quick to support a father who claimed that he refused to pay for his daughter’s wedding after she told him he could not bring his husband or their son.
The anonymous man, known only as u/LargeSeat3093, posted about his situation on Reddit‘s popular “Am I The A**hole” forum on Thursday where it received more than 13,100 upvotes and 1,550 comments, with many blasting his daughter for expecting him to fund the wedding regardless of her “homophobic” rules.
In the post titled “AITA for refusing to pay for my daughter’s wedding even if I promised to?” the man, 39, explained that his daughter, 21, is getting married in June and that ever since she was a little girl, he promised to pay for her wedding.
According to The Knot, the national average cost for a wedding last year was $28,000. Traditionally, the bride and family are responsible for paying for the service and reception.
However, experts recommend that couples discuss the finances before even planning the wedding to ensure everyone is clear on their responsibilities. Experts also say that couples should come up with a budget plan so they do not have to rely on family members for help.
“But something happened two days ago, that made me change my mind,” the Reddit post continued to read.
The man explained that he and his ex-wife had their daughter and got married when they were 18. After six years, the man said he felt comfortable coming out to his wife and the two broke up.
“She understood and we had a very amicable divorce and split custody,” the post read. “My daughter was always daddy’s girl and always got along well with my partner (38M) of 14 years.”
As his daughter was planning her wedding—that he was funding—she told him a few rules. The first was that since her future in-laws are conservative and religious, his husband is not allowed to attend the wedding.
“I said: ‘OK it’s your day,'” the post read. “My son (2) can’t attend either. No, it’s not going to be a child-free wedding.”
Another rule was that he cannot discuss his “lifestyle” because she “doesn’t want to make her in-laws uncomfortable.”
The man replied that if her in-laws were so important then they could pay for the wedding. He said his daughter got mad and called him a “child” and said that if he didn’t change his “attitude” she would have her father-in-law walk her down the aisle.
“Then I said: ‘fine if my family isn’t welcomed and I’m excluded, I’m not paying for the wedding,'” the post read. “She was furious and said I was being selfish, picking favorites, and not thinking about her at all.”
His daughter complained that she couldn’t afford the wedding since she and her fiancé are “too young.” She also brought up the “promise” he made to her when she was growing up.
“Everyone including her mom is calling me selfish, So AITA here?” the man asked in the post.
More than 1,460 users amassed in the comments section, many to show their support for him and calling out his daughter for supporting “homophobic” rules.
“NTA. She can’t disrespect and try to hide your marriage while also expecting you to pay for hers,” one commenter wrote.
Some users even suggested that maybe his daughter was also homophobic, but was using her in-laws as scapegoats in the situation.
“I was ready to roast you, but I fully agree with you,” one user commented. “Her behavior is unacceptable, and if she’s okay with homophobia, and excluding your partner, and her brother, she can find a way to pay for it herself.”
“I wonder if daughter is a homophobic herself and her in laws are easier to hide it behind? No way will she stop here. Holidays and any events related to future grandchildren they’ll be cut out of,” another commenter said.
“As a general rule, if someone is OK with another person’s bigotry, they are supporting bigotry,” another user added. “They are communicating they are OK with it.”
Newsweek reached out to u/LargeSeat3093 but did not hear back in time for publication.
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