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Despite having the busiest week in my life, I managed to watch a couple of movies during the Tihar break. Unfortunately for me, the selection was not really good. In my defense, I was tired and wanted to watch something that wouldn’t require me to use my mind too much. But I really didn’t expect both of the movies to be so brain dead that I’d have to write a whole review warning people not to watch them.

First, I think I’m forever done with Aamir Khan now. If you think his 2018 bummer “Thugs of Hindostan” featured was his worst performance ever, the actor tops it with his latest “Laal Singh Chaddha.” A remake of the 1994 Hollywood classic “Forrest Gump,” which has been immortalized for ages with Tom Hank’s performance, Khan probably tried to piggyback on the original film’s success to recreate the magic for Bollywood. The movie was highly anticipated by Khan’s fans and the Indian audience in general as it would give the Hindi-language audience more relatability to the story.

But the adaptation fails miserably on all ends. Especially the acting. Instead of reinventing himself as the titular character in Laal Singh Chaddha, Bollywood’s Mr. Perfectionist creates a horrendous persona, taking on the traits and grimaces of his previous roles in “Dhoom 3” and “PK.”

Now talking about horridness, Riteish Deshmukh—who has mostly disappointed us with his over the top acting in Indian sex comedies—fails the audience once again in his latest “Plan A Plan B”. Honestly, I watched the movie for the South Indian diva Tamannaah, but given her co-actor’s lackluster performance and one of the worst Bollywood screenplays of recent times, she too failed to make my time worthwhile.

In the romantic comedy Plan A Plan B,  Tamannaah plays Nirali—a matchmaker cum wedding planner who passionately believes in happily ever after. As Nirali takes over her mother’s (Poonam Dhillon) matchmaking business, she finds her new office is right next door to the divorce lawyer  Kaustubh ‘Kosty’ Chogule (Deshmukh).

Kosty is the exact opposite of Nirali’s personality and is an expert in breaking wedlocks, both emotionally and legally. The two neighbors then become each others’ nemesis with opposite business interests but then the film moves towards a predictable ending. And it’s not only the ending that makes you feel like you’ve watched the film before. It’s the whole script that seems to be cut out off multiple other films in the genre. To add to the pain, the copy/paste comes with just too many visible blank spots.

Everything about the film is caricaturish. The characters, the setting and the storyline feel like they’ve been lifted off some not so famous American romantic comedies. The film is not exactly a remake, yet there is nothing new about it. Maybe because the filmmakers have reduced the film into a formulaic juxtaposition of cliched tropes and sequences.

To think that the film had so much scope to delve into the matrimonial lives of common Indians and address some of the problems in today’s society is just a waste of time. Director Shashanka Ghosh and writer Rajat Arora put as little effort as possible in the film’s production and it shows everywhere. The characters are so poorly written that even the veteran actor Dhillon seems like an aged debutant who was just given the role because she invested some money in the film.

With such weak writing, direction and acting, the film is more cringy than humorous. Too bad for comedian and YouTuber Kusha Kapila, who plays Kosty’s assistant Seema. She shows some glimpses of brilliance in the film but everything else puts a shadow over her performance as well.

Who should watch it/them?

This is a double review warning you to not go through the pain I went through watching both “Laal Singh Chaddha” and “Plan A Plan B.”

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