A bride in the city of Ambala, Haryana, bravely decided to assert her equality by riding a horse and leading the baraat (traditionally the bridegroom’s procession) to the wedding venue. Sword in hand, this young lawyer defied tradition, supported by her father, mother and all her relatives.
The bride expressed her happiness at realising a childhood dream, adding that her father had raised her like a son. This admission is staggering in a patriarchal society.
Her father said he wanted to shatter some gender myths and his first step was to encourage her to become a lawyer despite opposition from family members.
There have been other instances of late of strong-willed women riding a horse to their wedding in Rajasthan and even Bihar to make people realise that gender equality is important. Such forward thinking is, sadly, the exception rather than the norm. Many of my friends in college got married immediately after graduation as per their parents’ wishes.
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This acquiescence to tradition baffled me as none of them ever questioned the authority of parents to decide their future. Education had not made any difference in their thinking. Some of them belonged to affluent business families but their fathers never considered training their daughters to take over the reins despite their intelligence and capability.
I met one such woman recently and she told me that all her friends as well as people working for her father were surprised that she didn’t join the business. She excelled in studies and would have made a successful businesswoman. Sadly, she was married to a businessman and spends her time in frivolous pursuits for want of opportunities.
Perhaps my differing views are the result of my father’s rebellion against societal norms. Brought up in a deeply conservative family, he was always getting into trouble for his choices. For example, most of his friends were non-Brahmins, which irked his parents.
Later, he chose his own bride, that too someone from a different religion. This was the last straw for his parents who promptly disowned him. Yet he never had any regrets over his decisions.
These acts of defiance by the brides must be viewed in light of the pernicious effects of gender inequality. Girls see gender inequality in their homes and communities every day, also in text books, social media and among adults who take care of them.
Worldwide, nearly 1 in 4 girls between the ages of 15 and 19 are neither employed nor in education or training, compared to 1 in 10 boys.
Raising their voice
Girls are increasingly raising their voice against injustice and doing whatever they can to make their voice heard. The news stories of the brides breaking with tradition should not merely evoke amusement but admiration and awakening.
Parents and caregivers play an important role in shaping beliefs. Unicef and other bodies are calling for gender transformative education to transform stereotypes, attitudes, norms and practices. I believe that it is up to women to make changes.
They should treat their sons and daughters equally and not expect only the girls to perform household chores. Girls should be encouraged to study and aim high instead of settling for marriage as the easy way out.
The daughter of the watchman in my building is pursuing higher studies. Her parents are illiterate but they recognise that she will achieve much in life. They have not pushed her into marriage and she feels free to chase her dreams.
All of us should go out of our way to encourage women to invest in themselves and make them feel confident enough to take up any challenge. When women receive support, incredible things happen. Throughout history, the central role of women in society has ensured the stability, progress and long-term developments of nations.
Vanaja Rao is a freelance writer based in Hyderabad, India