ST. GEORGE — Weddings involve a lot of paperwork. From the save-the-date cards to the invitations to thank-you notes, engaged couples should plan to spend a fair amount of time communicating with their guests.
Destination weddings are becoming more popular, especially in Southern Utah. For these types of events, couples are encouraged to send save-the-date cards 6-12 months before their special day. Why so early? Because some guests need to ask for time off work, book flights and arrange for things like child care. For more local weddings, sending save-the-date cards 4-6 months ahead of time should suffice.
Wedding invitations are generally mailed six to eight weeks in advance. Jacqueline Grena, CEO of SunRae Planning in St. George, said RSVP cards included with the invitation is important for determining the exact headcount for catering.
“I typically recommend putting a deadline on the RSVP card,” Grena said. “That way you have it at least one month before the wedding.”
Grena advises ordering thank you cards as soon as a couple puts together their wedding registry. Oftentimes, people begin sending gifts shortly after they receive the invitation.
“If you receive a gift ahead of the wedding, I definitely recommend sending out those thank you notes within two weeks of receiving the gift,” Grena said.
Glittering piles of gifts are often brought in person to the reception. Grena advises couples open them after the honeymoon when they have time to pay attention to which guest brought which gift. Excel spreadsheets are an easy way to keep track of everything. Thank you notes for gifts received on the day of the wedding should be sent within two months.
In addition to thanking guests for gifts, Grena also recommends sending personal notes of appreciation to people who helped plan the wedding, especially volunteers who assist with tasks like set-up.
Gracious guests
When a couple invites someone to their wedding, they are sending a signal that they want that person to be part of one of the most important days of their lives. A lot of time, work and money goes into planning a wedding, so it behooves guests to be gracious and cooperative. Tambra Moultrie of Tambra Moultrie Weddings in Washington County said not returning an RSVP card on time can cause the couple a lot of stress.
“It affects everything from catering numbers to floral arrangements to how many tables need to be set up,” Moultrie said. “All of these numbers are what solidify the details of that day.”
When people RSVP to a wedding and don’t show up, the couple still has to pay whatever per-person fee they have agreed to with vendors and caterers. Last minute cancellations should be avoided whenever possible.
Wedding couples often spend hours lining up hotel accommodations for their guests, usually brokering group discounts. If the rooms won’t work for someone, Moultrie recommends they make their own arrangements instead of bringing the problem to the attention of the couple.
Photo etiquette is also becoming an issue at weddings with some guests using their phones during the ceremony to snap pictures. Moultrie strongly discourages this, noting it can get in the way of the professional photographers who have been hired for this specific purpose.
“The professionals are there for a reason – this is their art,” Moultrie said. “My recommendation is to always do an unplugged ceremony.”
Best bridesmaids and groomsmen
While every wedding is different, bridesmaids and groomsmen traditionally pay for the outfits they asked to wear during the ceremony. This can get tricky because the couple usually selects the attire. Good wedding party etiquette involves putting on a happy face no matter how someone may feel about a specific outfit. It helps to remember it is an honor to be included in someone’s wedding line.
Being punctual is an important part of serving as a bridesmaid or groomsmen. Couples often have a tight timeline that affects a number of services ranging from the photographer to catering. When members of the wedding party show up late, it can throw off the entire schedule.
“You are their person on their wedding day,” Laura Stagg of Forevermore Events in St. George said. “You are there to take care of their needs.”
Guests can help things run smoothly by also being receptive to the timeline. Stagg said being fully present at a wedding is a present to the couple.
“For instance, if it is time to cut the cake then gather around,” Stagg said. “Watch the first dance around the dance floor instead of continuing in conversation with other guests.”
Weddings involve lots of little duties that can’t always be covered by wedding planners and staff. Friends and family members can support the couple’s big day by helping with things like watching over the guest book or loading up presents after the reception. Stagg said it is important that volunteers see these duties to their conclusion, understanding the couple is counting on them to do so.
Happy days
Weddings are happy events that should prompt people to be on their best behavior. A great way to honor a couple as they begin their new lives together is to behave in a spirit of joyful cooperation.
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