Back in the Before Times (well before the pandemic and pre-Marvel Cinematic Universe domination) romantic comedies served as lucrative counterprogramming at movie theaters. A Jennifer Lopez rom-com in the early 2000s would probably be an all-but-guaranteed box office hit.
In 2022, a J-Lo rom-com gets released simultaneously on a streaming service and against the Super Bowl. “Marry Me,” in theaters and streaming on Peacock, at least boasts a ridiculous-enough premise to incite nostalgia for the likes of “The Wedding Planner” or “Maid in Manhattan.”
“Marry Me” makes no attempt to hide Lopez in a non-diva, “regular person” performance. She plays a famous pop star, Kat Valdez, who is known for spectacular, dance-infused live shows, as well as for her history of breakups with fellow famous people.
Kat and her popstar fiance Bastian (Colombian singer/actor Maluma) plan to get married on stage (and live to the world) after a performance of their chart-topping hit, “Marry Me.” When pictures of Bastian’s cheating ways leak online minutes before the ceremony, Kat word-vomits on a stadium full of people before singling out a random dude in the audience and asks him to marry her instead.
That dude is Charlie (Owen Wilson), a reserved math teacher and single dad who’s only at the concert to connect with his pre-teen daughter. Sensing Kat’s real anguish in the situation, he plays along for the crowd and assumes the stunt won’t last beyond the night. However, Kat and her manager (John Bradley) hatch a plan to turn the “marry-a-stranger” storyline into a weeks-long public image rehabilitation project.
Nice guy Charlie agrees to play along and the married couple spend time together in social-media friendly ways (a bowling date! Kat meets Charlie’s mathalon students!). But, oops, they actually like each other, with Charlie coming out of his shell and Kat embracing Charlie’s simple-but-meaningful approach to life. Turns out you don’t need a staff of assistants to help you make dinner!
Preposterous from start to finish, “Marry Me” never once explores what it takes to establish a real relationship with another person, let alone justify a marriage. However, the movie hinges on two dynamite ingredients — Lopez and Wilson, two actors who can rarely play anything beyond a particular character type yet can play those types so well that it never grows tiresome. Wilson’s aw-shucks, relaxed charisma works well against Lopez’s warm-yet-commanding divadom. Their romance makes no sense, but, against all logic, it’s worth rooting for anyway.
The middle act of “Marry Me” hits enough of those charming rom-com beats to offset the movie’s strained setup and contrived resolution. More specifically, the story works when set in “Charlie’s world” and flounders whenever the movie tries to incorporate celebrity culture (stop putting Jimmy Fallon in movies as himself). Charlie’s daughter’s mathalon performance winds up generating more tension than Kat’s professional alliance with her cheating ex.
Look, don’t read this review of “Marry Me” as a glowing recommendation. It’s just so silly and old-fashioned in enough moments that it serves as a tolerable counteragent to the testosterone-riddled lineup of superhero and franchise titles. A better new rom-com is “I Want You Back” on Amazon Prime starring Charlie Day and Jenny Slate, but that movie is more grounded and, well, doesn’t have its own made-for-the-movie pop anthem.
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Tyler Wilson is a member of the International Press Academy and has been writing about movies for Inland Northwest publications since 2000, including a regular column in The Press since 2006. He can be reached at [email protected].
